By relationships, I’m not even really referring to romantic ones; I’m talking about all of them: family, friends, etc. I hate one-sided things. I see a healthy relationship as a give-and-take kind of thing, not give-or-take. There is a clear difference between the two.
The latter, if not already obvious, is the unequal one of the two. More often than not, in a give-or-take relationship, the side that gives and the side that takes balance each other out, because the giving and the taking are being done to the same extent; however, just because the two balance each other out does NOT mean that this is okay. One person shouldn’t always completely depend on another for something and constantly take whatever that is, without giving anything in return. The same goes, vice-versa; the giver in this situation shouldn’t allow the taker to continue taking advantage of them. Even if the giver and the taker are completely fine with that situation, it’s unhealthy, and will lead to future complications that will most likely result in a deteriorating — and, eventually, ruined — relationship. The inequality within a give-or-take relationship is what makes it unhealthy. In most cases, the taker is the one who has much of some form of power over the giver, which only causes the giver to continue to give the taker what they want. Thus, this sets into motion a vicious cycle in which the giver always gives, but never receives, and the taker always takes, but never gives. Tensions begin to build, and sooner or later, the giver will (hopefully) come to their senses, and confront the taker about the inequality between the two, which, depending on how strong the bond is, only leads to either a damaged relationship barely intact, or a completely destroyed relationship. Neither of those results sound nor are too appealing.
As for give-and-take relationships, the situation is quite different. Two individuals with this kind of relationship both give and take, but in equal amounts, thus also creating a balance. The balance created, however, is not the same as the balance created within a give or take relationship. In this case, there is no clash of giving and taking; instead, there is a healthy mix of the two. In this kind of relationship, favors are done for each other, and then returned. One person’s there for the other, and vice versa. The love — be it romantic, friendly, or family — is unconditional. The balance is kept equal, without much effort; the giving and taking within the relationship are at equilibrium.
Now for the venting part. I’ve encountered way too many of those give-or-take relationships; I’ve always been the giver, as far as I can remember. I guess it’s just the kinda shit I get myself into. I’m way too nice; I’m a fucking pushover. I just let those things happen; I don’t do shit to stop it. But really, I’ve lost count of how many times where I’ve been the one always trying the hardest to keep a friendship/relationship/etc. going, whereas the effort isn’t reflected in the other person. I don’t know if I’m being cynical or what, but that’s just how it’s always felt to me. I hate when that shit happens, because it’s like once I’ve been the giver within the relationship for a while, it’s like if I stop supplying what the taker needs, I feel hella guilty. Guilt trips work too well on me, and I fucking hate it.
You know what else I hate? When I do a whole bunch of shit for someone, and I don’t get SHIT back for what I do. I mean, I don’t expect anything to the extent of what I did in return, but damn, at least somehow show me that you’re thankful. There have been so many times where I’ve felt so unappreciated, but I didn’t wanna say shit about it because those kinds of things used to seem too small to trip over. Now, though, with how I’m going to even greater lengths for people, I wouldn’t mind a little appreciation. A simple “thank you” would suffice. Ain’t needa do nothin’ fancy. I take that kind of stuff to the heart, because as I was growing up, I’ve gained a lot, but I’ve lost so much more, which has taught me to always appreciate the small things. I know I shouldn’t expect everyone to do that just because I do, but I know for damn sure that “thank you” is not too much to ask for.
